Because the last two weeks I haven't posted.
The Monkey and I spent pretty much all last week sick. Yuck. Luckily, we're over it now.
First - Friday, April 3d was spent at BrightEyes. I'm thinking this is the new Friday routine. This Friday the Bestie joined us with the GodBaby, and sans her man. Good drinks and Good food! Yay! Nothing much happened - but we were joined by a incredibly hilarious guy who's chosen the nickname Ssuper (not a typo). Also - I was informed by BrightEyes husband that he is anything but incredibly adorable, so I have to change what I call him. I'll stick with a name he already has - Uncle Will the Chinaman, hereafter called Chinaman for short. Ha!
Last week Gigi and Baboo were on vacation - and spent most of their week sick too. But it was nice to hang out with them. I did get some extra sleep, thanks to Baboo who agreed to hang out with Monkey for a little while so I could take a much needed nap.
Friday, April 10th was Ladies night for the Bestie, BrightEyes and I. We went to a Suns game, sans children and men (like I have one to be without) and had a GRAND time. Ha. Our night ended kind of badly, but it's ok now. There's talk of another ladies night soon, so maybe another Sun's game? Or maybe just a night out to eat and putt-putt golf. We'll see.
Saturday was just BrightEyes, our 3 monkies, and I. We got the girls down at a decent hour and the two of us hung out on the couch eating italian meatballs and chocolate dipped strawberries, drinking sweet tea with sweet tea flavored vodka (who knew????)
Sunday- Easter was a gentle (read: Boring) day. We didn't do much. Hung out with Gigi and cooked. GOOD GOOD FOOD. Fresh green beans with ham hocks and new potatoes, stewed fresh yellow squash, deviled eggs, and ham. YUM.
This week promises to be just as boring as usual - but hey at least there's no potential for drama!
Showing posts with label the bestie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the bestie. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
No point. Or is there?
I had intentions of writing a meaningful post tonight. But the words have gotten lost in my mind somewhere. So you're stuck instead, reading my thoughtless meanderings.
I'm having trouble focusing on much of anything today - I'm a little frustrated with the IRS since no one at their offices seems to be able to answer any of my questions. And if there is an answer, the person I'm talking to can't give it to me, they have to put in a referral to another department and I have to wait on that department. Which could take up to 45 days. Seriously, I don't understand why they're taking so long with my refund. If I'm not going to get any money then I wish that they'd say that and be done with it. I did my taxes properly, and they're not auditing me - they'd have to notify me using the word audit. So now after being told twice that I'd have my money on x date, I still don't have it and the only straight answer I could get from the person I spoke with is that it could take up to 45 days for me to hear something from the people in the "Examinations Department". Whatever.
I'm glad that BrightEyes found me last week on Facebook. It's nice to have a friend other than the Bestie that I've known since high school and has similar experiences. Not only that, she's got kids and is a stay at home mom, so I have some one to hang out with during the day (when I can get motivated to do anything). I'm realizing now that in my rush to get the hell out of Jacksonville - I may have pushed away a lot of friendships that could have been life-long.
It crossed my mind today that I may not be able to date, like ever again. I work such an odd schedule, that any one I dated would have to have a similar schedule - or be absolutely fine with only seeing me when I could get a babysitter every other week (if then). I can't really let Monkey meet the guys I date anymore. She's getting older and will start to take notice of her surroundings and the people in them. Heaven forbid I meet some one and date him for a while and Monkey gets attached to him right before I find a serious flaw in the relationship (because I am GREAT at sabotaging myself in relationships, and because I am also GREAT at picking the WORST guys ever to date. Seriously - they seem to get worse and worse) and have to break up with him. Even if they worked a similar schedule - I still wouldn't be able to see him during the day because I have Monkey all the time and wouldn't be able to find some one to watch her. So - I'm screwed. Good thing I know I don't need a man, and I'm comfortable being single (finally!). I guess one of these days, I'll return to a normal schedule and be able to date, that is - if I want to.
I'm not too sure what the point of this post was - but I'm sure at some point there was one. I'll get back to you and let you know what it is when I find it.
I'm having trouble focusing on much of anything today - I'm a little frustrated with the IRS since no one at their offices seems to be able to answer any of my questions. And if there is an answer, the person I'm talking to can't give it to me, they have to put in a referral to another department and I have to wait on that department. Which could take up to 45 days. Seriously, I don't understand why they're taking so long with my refund. If I'm not going to get any money then I wish that they'd say that and be done with it. I did my taxes properly, and they're not auditing me - they'd have to notify me using the word audit. So now after being told twice that I'd have my money on x date, I still don't have it and the only straight answer I could get from the person I spoke with is that it could take up to 45 days for me to hear something from the people in the "Examinations Department". Whatever.
I'm glad that BrightEyes found me last week on Facebook. It's nice to have a friend other than the Bestie that I've known since high school and has similar experiences. Not only that, she's got kids and is a stay at home mom, so I have some one to hang out with during the day (when I can get motivated to do anything). I'm realizing now that in my rush to get the hell out of Jacksonville - I may have pushed away a lot of friendships that could have been life-long.
It crossed my mind today that I may not be able to date, like ever again. I work such an odd schedule, that any one I dated would have to have a similar schedule - or be absolutely fine with only seeing me when I could get a babysitter every other week (if then). I can't really let Monkey meet the guys I date anymore. She's getting older and will start to take notice of her surroundings and the people in them. Heaven forbid I meet some one and date him for a while and Monkey gets attached to him right before I find a serious flaw in the relationship (because I am GREAT at sabotaging myself in relationships, and because I am also GREAT at picking the WORST guys ever to date. Seriously - they seem to get worse and worse) and have to break up with him. Even if they worked a similar schedule - I still wouldn't be able to see him during the day because I have Monkey all the time and wouldn't be able to find some one to watch her. So - I'm screwed. Good thing I know I don't need a man, and I'm comfortable being single (finally!). I guess one of these days, I'll return to a normal schedule and be able to date, that is - if I want to.
I'm not too sure what the point of this post was - but I'm sure at some point there was one. I'll get back to you and let you know what it is when I find it.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Of Good Friends, Good Drinks, Phones, and Men
I had a pretty good weekend. Really - I did. How was yours?
An old friend from high school found me on Facebook (you know, the account that I vowed to delete because they were banning pictures of mothers breastfeeding) last week, and we decided to hang out Friday evening, kids in tow. She's got two, and if you count her incredibly adorable hubby - three. But we hung out at their house (NICE, by the way) and ate, talked, drank, and let the girls run around and be little kids (Both of her girls and Monkey were FILTHY by the end of the night). It was nice to hang out with other people who have kids. The Bestie and her other half joined us eventually, sans her little one, and more drinking and talking ensued. Great friends were met, good times and drinks were had. It will be happening again. Said friend will here after be known as BrightEyes - because I swear she's got the brightest eyes, which light up even more when she smiles, and she smiles often (read: all the time). BrightEyes and I took the kids to the mall Saturday, and wandered around for a couple hours. We talked and generally enjoyed ourselves.
Also....Sort of, kind of, met a guy, whom we'll call Dennis. I say sort of, kind of, because we met through an application on Facebook. But we've been emailing for a while and Dennis is - for lack of a better word pretty AWESOME. But as with all awesome men, there is a down fall. He's in Turkey (not Turkish, he's there with the Air Force) and then when he PCS's later this year, he'll be going to England. It sucks, but there's not much to be done about it. I can't say I'm all heart-broken over it, because that would be lying, dear Interwebs. But, it would have been nice. He'll be stateside for two weeks in about two months, and we've planned on meeting then. So that's a little exciting, but at the same time, I can't help but wonder why I'm putting myself in a situation where I might *possibly* (read: there's a SLIGHT chance, but not a stalker, clingy, psycho chance) get attached. But I also know that just about EVERYTHING in my life happens for a reason. So I know there's a reason for this. I just need to be patient and let God reveal it to me. Long distance relationships are hard enough in the same country. I can't imagine the obstacles for an overseas long distance relationship. Not to say that in some cases that its not worth it, because I'm sure it is. Passports, money, vacation time..... Those are just a few of the things that come to my mind as being obstacles. I suppose though, that at the very least, I've found myself a pretty awesome friend. One that is definitely worth visiting Turkey, or England - should I ever decide to apply for a passport for me and Monkey.
Still haven't heard anything about moving to a day shift - I think that my Boss may just have been humoring me. Making me think that he wanted to give me a day position. I don't know. I suppose we'll see.
Also, I'm still waiting on the IRS to decide to send me my tax refund. I filed January 26th and it is now March 29th. My mom filed last Sunday and got her money back Friday. The bestie filed two weeks after I did and had her money back less than a week later. It's ridiculous. I'm supposed to have it tomorrow this time, so maybe I'll have it and I can start shopping! (Insert maniacal laughter here - I'll have lots of money to spend and not feel guilty about spending it) I'm getting a new phone - and I'm a little giddy about it. I originally wanted an iPhone, but the pricing is just way out of my comfort zone (even with my tax money coming) because I'm not due for an upgrade until November, and the iPhone has a serious flaw, Interwebs. It does not receive picture mail. This, is a problem for me. The only thing that I don't think that the Eternity has is the millions of applications the iPhone does. But that's OK - I'd go broke buying the stupid applications. Besides, the Eternity is still a touch screen, and can access the internet. Which means that I can post and do all of the other random things I do on the internet while I'm away from my computer. YAY. But - I'm seriously excited about the phone. I just need the IRS to send me my money.
An old friend from high school found me on Facebook (you know, the account that I vowed to delete because they were banning pictures of mothers breastfeeding) last week, and we decided to hang out Friday evening, kids in tow. She's got two, and if you count her incredibly adorable hubby - three. But we hung out at their house (NICE, by the way) and ate, talked, drank, and let the girls run around and be little kids (Both of her girls and Monkey were FILTHY by the end of the night). It was nice to hang out with other people who have kids. The Bestie and her other half joined us eventually, sans her little one, and more drinking and talking ensued. Great friends were met, good times and drinks were had. It will be happening again. Said friend will here after be known as BrightEyes - because I swear she's got the brightest eyes, which light up even more when she smiles, and she smiles often (read: all the time). BrightEyes and I took the kids to the mall Saturday, and wandered around for a couple hours. We talked and generally enjoyed ourselves.
Also....Sort of, kind of, met a guy, whom we'll call Dennis. I say sort of, kind of, because we met through an application on Facebook. But we've been emailing for a while and Dennis is - for lack of a better word pretty AWESOME. But as with all awesome men, there is a down fall. He's in Turkey (not Turkish, he's there with the Air Force) and then when he PCS's later this year, he'll be going to England. It sucks, but there's not much to be done about it. I can't say I'm all heart-broken over it, because that would be lying, dear Interwebs. But, it would have been nice. He'll be stateside for two weeks in about two months, and we've planned on meeting then. So that's a little exciting, but at the same time, I can't help but wonder why I'm putting myself in a situation where I might *possibly* (read: there's a SLIGHT chance, but not a stalker, clingy, psycho chance) get attached. But I also know that just about EVERYTHING in my life happens for a reason. So I know there's a reason for this. I just need to be patient and let God reveal it to me. Long distance relationships are hard enough in the same country. I can't imagine the obstacles for an overseas long distance relationship. Not to say that in some cases that its not worth it, because I'm sure it is. Passports, money, vacation time..... Those are just a few of the things that come to my mind as being obstacles. I suppose though, that at the very least, I've found myself a pretty awesome friend. One that is definitely worth visiting Turkey, or England - should I ever decide to apply for a passport for me and Monkey.
Still haven't heard anything about moving to a day shift - I think that my Boss may just have been humoring me. Making me think that he wanted to give me a day position. I don't know. I suppose we'll see.
Also, I'm still waiting on the IRS to decide to send me my tax refund. I filed January 26th and it is now March 29th. My mom filed last Sunday and got her money back Friday. The bestie filed two weeks after I did and had her money back less than a week later. It's ridiculous. I'm supposed to have it tomorrow this time, so maybe I'll have it and I can start shopping! (Insert maniacal laughter here - I'll have lots of money to spend and not feel guilty about spending it) I'm getting a new phone - and I'm a little giddy about it. I originally wanted an iPhone, but the pricing is just way out of my comfort zone (even with my tax money coming) because I'm not due for an upgrade until November, and the iPhone has a serious flaw, Interwebs. It does not receive picture mail. This, is a problem for me. The only thing that I don't think that the Eternity has is the millions of applications the iPhone does. But that's OK - I'd go broke buying the stupid applications. Besides, the Eternity is still a touch screen, and can access the internet. Which means that I can post and do all of the other random things I do on the internet while I'm away from my computer. YAY. But - I'm seriously excited about the phone. I just need the IRS to send me my money.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Why I'm A Single Mother
We used to be good friends. Best friends, actually. Then - we crossed a line. We had sex - we had had sex before, but we both knew then that it was nothing meaningful. We were both young, and ignorant. Except for this time, a baby was conceived. Then - he asked me to do something that for me, was out of the question. I just couldn't abort the tiny life growing inside of me. I'd had problems with two other pregnancies, and miscarried both. Then, I found out I was pregnant and I just knew that I'd carry this baby full term - and deliver a healthy baby. But - he didn't want another child. He already had two, and couldn't deal with another, was his argument. Well, it's my body, and my decision too, so I chose to have the baby.
He was so mad at me, and I knew he would be. I waited a while to talk to him, hoping that his anger would subside. And it did. Eventually we started talking again, and he promised that even though there was a long, hard road in front of me, he'd help me out when and how ever he could. Then, I found out he was dating some one, after he had told me he didn't want to date anyone. Not only was he dating some one, he was sleeping with her at the same time he was sleeping with me.
I hated him then. I hated him because he couldn't see that I had been so in love with him, that I wanted to make a relationship work with him, I wanted to heal his hurts from past relationships, hoping that by healing him, I would be healing myself. But, I never let him see it. I wasn't going to let him see how much he was hurting me. I was going to be strong for our baby - because back then, I still thought of my baby as our baby. But, we had a couple arguments, and he refused to tell anyone that I was pregnant. Refused to acknowledge that this was happening. Then - he just stopped answering my calls. So, I stopped calling. Then, about a month before our baby girl was due, we started speaking again. I found out that he had had some legal troubles and there was a possibility that he'd be in jail when the baby was born. So a month later when I went into labor the only people that were at the hospital were my parents and The Bestie. When I filled out the paperwork for her birth certificate - I gave my baby girl my last name. I still don't remember exactly why I did it, but all I can remember is that when I was filling out that paper work I just couldn't force myself to write his last name on it. He got out of jail a week after she was born and waited two days to come see her. When he finally did, he brought along his girlfriend. It killed me that she was holding my baby girl, fawning over her. He got upset about her name and in a moment of strength I told him that if he wanted to change her name, he had until she was a year old to be able to do so with out a court order but that I would not be changing it for him. He would have to do it on his own, he would have to prove his worth of her. He didn't even take the paper work.
For three months after she was born I didn't work and almost daily during those three months, I would call him and take her to see him. We'd spend the better part of the day there - just hanging out. But then, I realized that I was doing all the work. Realized that he wasn't calling me to see her. So - one day I just didn't call. One day turned into two, two into three, and so on. Two weeks passed and he hadn't called. So I called him and told him that if he wanted to see our daughter he would need to call me to see her because I was not going to chase behind him and force her into his life. He said that he just got busy - and that he meant to call. Our problems started all over again. He was seriously acting like we were just friends, and that my child was not in fact, his child too. I felt like he was putting his other two children before her, instead of making her the same priority as them. And he was, he wouldn't ever keep her when he had the other two children but wouldn't keep her when he didn't have them either. He would call the other children's mother and ask for them, or make plans for those children, but didn't bother to make plans for our daughter.
We argued and fought for a while, mostly about money, diapers, food, or him spending time with her. Then when she was about 8 or 9 months old, he just stopped spending time with her at all. And it didn't bother me one bit. He was more of a nuisance than anything else, and I didn't feel like he was really spending time with her because he wanted to. I started planning her birthday party in October - just before Halloween. We had spoken about it a couple of times, but nothing was definite. Then Halloween came and I took my baby girl trick-or-treating. She went in early with my mom (she was spending the weekend with her anyway, and early for me is 8pm which is late for her) but I stayed out with The Bestie and her daughter. We went by the church, and saw him. He walked right by me with his other two children, his girlfriend, and her son, and didn't even bother to ask how the baby was. I know he saw me because his face froze up for a couple seconds. Then I called him about two or three days later and decided not to say anything about Halloween, but instead to focus on her birthday party. I gave him the time, date and location - to which he replied that he wouldn't be coming. I was dumb founded. An argument ensued and I ended up hanging up on him. The day of the party came, and he made good on not showing. Her actual birthday was two days later and he went even farther and didn't even call to tell her happy birthday.
I called him - and we fought again. Fought because I could not understand why he didn't show up to his youngest daughter's FIRST birthday party, why he didn't call her on her actual birthday, why he could just put her off like she was just some random child and not the fruit of his loins. Then he said the worst thing he could ever have said to me, "I wish you would move out of the state for the Army. That way I wouldn't have to worry about you and your daughter."
I've called him once since then, and only because I felt like I wasn't doing enough on my daughters behalf for her to have a relationship with her father. The funny thing is, I think that he feels like he's hurting me and really he's not. He's hurting himself in the long run, because my daughter is doing just fine with out him, and will for the rest of her life. But eventually a time will come when he'll want to be a part of her life, and she'll make him answer questions. She'll make him answer the hard questions - the same ones I tried to make him answer, and the answers won't be good enough for her, because I'm teaching her to be strong and smart. Because she'll know that she's worth more than anything in the world. And when those answers aren't good enough, she won't want anything to do with him.
He was so mad at me, and I knew he would be. I waited a while to talk to him, hoping that his anger would subside. And it did. Eventually we started talking again, and he promised that even though there was a long, hard road in front of me, he'd help me out when and how ever he could. Then, I found out he was dating some one, after he had told me he didn't want to date anyone. Not only was he dating some one, he was sleeping with her at the same time he was sleeping with me.
I hated him then. I hated him because he couldn't see that I had been so in love with him, that I wanted to make a relationship work with him, I wanted to heal his hurts from past relationships, hoping that by healing him, I would be healing myself. But, I never let him see it. I wasn't going to let him see how much he was hurting me. I was going to be strong for our baby - because back then, I still thought of my baby as our baby. But, we had a couple arguments, and he refused to tell anyone that I was pregnant. Refused to acknowledge that this was happening. Then - he just stopped answering my calls. So, I stopped calling. Then, about a month before our baby girl was due, we started speaking again. I found out that he had had some legal troubles and there was a possibility that he'd be in jail when the baby was born. So a month later when I went into labor the only people that were at the hospital were my parents and The Bestie. When I filled out the paperwork for her birth certificate - I gave my baby girl my last name. I still don't remember exactly why I did it, but all I can remember is that when I was filling out that paper work I just couldn't force myself to write his last name on it. He got out of jail a week after she was born and waited two days to come see her. When he finally did, he brought along his girlfriend. It killed me that she was holding my baby girl, fawning over her. He got upset about her name and in a moment of strength I told him that if he wanted to change her name, he had until she was a year old to be able to do so with out a court order but that I would not be changing it for him. He would have to do it on his own, he would have to prove his worth of her. He didn't even take the paper work.
For three months after she was born I didn't work and almost daily during those three months, I would call him and take her to see him. We'd spend the better part of the day there - just hanging out. But then, I realized that I was doing all the work. Realized that he wasn't calling me to see her. So - one day I just didn't call. One day turned into two, two into three, and so on. Two weeks passed and he hadn't called. So I called him and told him that if he wanted to see our daughter he would need to call me to see her because I was not going to chase behind him and force her into his life. He said that he just got busy - and that he meant to call. Our problems started all over again. He was seriously acting like we were just friends, and that my child was not in fact, his child too. I felt like he was putting his other two children before her, instead of making her the same priority as them. And he was, he wouldn't ever keep her when he had the other two children but wouldn't keep her when he didn't have them either. He would call the other children's mother and ask for them, or make plans for those children, but didn't bother to make plans for our daughter.
We argued and fought for a while, mostly about money, diapers, food, or him spending time with her. Then when she was about 8 or 9 months old, he just stopped spending time with her at all. And it didn't bother me one bit. He was more of a nuisance than anything else, and I didn't feel like he was really spending time with her because he wanted to. I started planning her birthday party in October - just before Halloween. We had spoken about it a couple of times, but nothing was definite. Then Halloween came and I took my baby girl trick-or-treating. She went in early with my mom (she was spending the weekend with her anyway, and early for me is 8pm which is late for her) but I stayed out with The Bestie and her daughter. We went by the church, and saw him. He walked right by me with his other two children, his girlfriend, and her son, and didn't even bother to ask how the baby was. I know he saw me because his face froze up for a couple seconds. Then I called him about two or three days later and decided not to say anything about Halloween, but instead to focus on her birthday party. I gave him the time, date and location - to which he replied that he wouldn't be coming. I was dumb founded. An argument ensued and I ended up hanging up on him. The day of the party came, and he made good on not showing. Her actual birthday was two days later and he went even farther and didn't even call to tell her happy birthday.
I called him - and we fought again. Fought because I could not understand why he didn't show up to his youngest daughter's FIRST birthday party, why he didn't call her on her actual birthday, why he could just put her off like she was just some random child and not the fruit of his loins. Then he said the worst thing he could ever have said to me, "I wish you would move out of the state for the Army. That way I wouldn't have to worry about you and your daughter."
I've called him once since then, and only because I felt like I wasn't doing enough on my daughters behalf for her to have a relationship with her father. The funny thing is, I think that he feels like he's hurting me and really he's not. He's hurting himself in the long run, because my daughter is doing just fine with out him, and will for the rest of her life. But eventually a time will come when he'll want to be a part of her life, and she'll make him answer questions. She'll make him answer the hard questions - the same ones I tried to make him answer, and the answers won't be good enough for her, because I'm teaching her to be strong and smart. Because she'll know that she's worth more than anything in the world. And when those answers aren't good enough, she won't want anything to do with him.
Monday, March 16, 2009
the post in which I talk about everything, and nothing.
Above video was taken about a month ago - I was in the passenger seat while the Ex was driving and turned around to that. It was hilarious. Luckily for me - my cell phone never leaves my hand (except for when I'm posting here, dear World Wide InterWebz!) so I recorded it, and am posting it for your viewing pleasure. (I've also just figured out how to get the videos from my phone to the computer! Don't laugh!)
I have an ultrasound in the morning because my doctor and I are concerned that I could possibly have ovarian cysts. I'm sure it will turn out to be nothing, but I'm still going to hope for the best. Also have an appointment on Friday for a Well Woman visit. Yay! NOT. But whatever.
Still no definite word yet on whether or not the Bestie will have to go Reserves - but she's considering making the transition to AGR (Active Guard Reserves) anyway. Apparently there's a slot on Redstone that is open and her contact at Redstone is trying to hook it up for her. I need to get on the ball and get cleared for duty. Not to mention I need to lose like 4% body fat, and get back in shape. Ok - so I have a lot to do. I just need to do it now.
5 days smoke free and I smell great - I feel like a crazy woman, but I smell good, and that's all that matters, Right?
I told you that this was the post in which I talk about everything and nothing. Didn't I?
Friday, March 13, 2009
The Army
The bestie got an email from a SFC (Sergeant First Class) in the Army today. The email informed her that she could either deploy or go reserves. Technically, she is still a reservist, but she's inactive. Meaning that she's only part of the Army on paper. By going reserves they mean that they want her to report to a unit and drill with them occasionally.
My heart aches for her because I know that one way or another she may have to deploy anyway and leave her 2 year old daughter behind. She's working on a situation that may keep her from having to deploy, yet assigning her to a unit that is reserves, but full time. Meaning that she'll be getting full benefits from the Army (pay, Tricare, and other various benefits). However, the unit is in Alabama, on Redstone Arsenal (Huntsville, Alabama - where we vacationed in January). I have decided that until we have more definite info on the situation, I'm going to work on getting cleared for duty by a civilian doctor. Once I've got that completed, I'm going to get back in the Army. The connection she has on Redstone may be able to help me get an assignment with a unit there too - thus, putting me on Redstone with her. I still haven't heard anything from when I submitted a packet for re-enlisting in October. But I think it's due to the fact that the Army would have to pony up some money to get me cleared for duty. So - if I cross those hurdles and can present them with the paper work I think things may progress a little quicker and more favorably.
Other news - The Monkey is a Social Creature. Be warned - that link goes to a post with some unbearably CUTE pictures.
My heart aches for her because I know that one way or another she may have to deploy anyway and leave her 2 year old daughter behind. She's working on a situation that may keep her from having to deploy, yet assigning her to a unit that is reserves, but full time. Meaning that she'll be getting full benefits from the Army (pay, Tricare, and other various benefits). However, the unit is in Alabama, on Redstone Arsenal (Huntsville, Alabama - where we vacationed in January). I have decided that until we have more definite info on the situation, I'm going to work on getting cleared for duty by a civilian doctor. Once I've got that completed, I'm going to get back in the Army. The connection she has on Redstone may be able to help me get an assignment with a unit there too - thus, putting me on Redstone with her. I still haven't heard anything from when I submitted a packet for re-enlisting in October. But I think it's due to the fact that the Army would have to pony up some money to get me cleared for duty. So - if I cross those hurdles and can present them with the paper work I think things may progress a little quicker and more favorably.
Other news - The Monkey is a Social Creature. Be warned - that link goes to a post with some unbearably CUTE pictures.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Promised Randomness
I'm back from vacation!
First - overwhelming response to my who's reading post. Really.....
Vacation was awesome. Alabama is like a different country. The people there are all so friendly and chatty. I kind of wish (read: do wish) I was still there - except for with Baby Crazy. I enjoyed 4 days in an RV with no hot water (thank God for heat and bath houses). We actually didn't end up doing any of the planned events - and spent a good portion (read: most) of vacation drunk. It was nice to not have any responsibilities. We headed home on Monday relatively early - but got side tracked about an hour into the trip and ended up at Cathedral Caverns. Two hours later - we started the rest of our trip home, the whole way talking about how we wished we could stay. We took some pictures - not as many as we did on our last trip up - but we did get some really good ones, so I just need to get them on the computer and get them resized. Which I plan on trying to do tomorrow.
Oh - I did my taxes yesterday! (And by I, I mean my Mom) I am so excited about the amount I'm getting - which won't be shared here, but I could technically buy a car - used, but a car none the less. Except there's some debt I need to pay off and a fish tank that I need to buy. (Ok, so I don't need the fish tank - but I want it really badly) And I have a car that runs and is in pretty good shape - so I don't need a car.
First - overwhelming response to my who's reading post. Really.....
Vacation was awesome. Alabama is like a different country. The people there are all so friendly and chatty. I kind of wish (read: do wish) I was still there - except for with Baby Crazy. I enjoyed 4 days in an RV with no hot water (thank God for heat and bath houses). We actually didn't end up doing any of the planned events - and spent a good portion (read: most) of vacation drunk. It was nice to not have any responsibilities. We headed home on Monday relatively early - but got side tracked about an hour into the trip and ended up at Cathedral Caverns. Two hours later - we started the rest of our trip home, the whole way talking about how we wished we could stay. We took some pictures - not as many as we did on our last trip up - but we did get some really good ones, so I just need to get them on the computer and get them resized. Which I plan on trying to do tomorrow.
Oh - I did my taxes yesterday! (And by I, I mean my Mom) I am so excited about the amount I'm getting - which won't be shared here, but I could technically buy a car - used, but a car none the less. Except there's some debt I need to pay off and a fish tank that I need to buy. (Ok, so I don't need the fish tank - but I want it really badly) And I have a car that runs and is in pretty good shape - so I don't need a car.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Single Parenthood
Today is just one of those days for me - I'm feeling all crappy and down.
I realized today that even though I have a boyfriend - I'm a single parent and it's just me and Baby Crazy. Sure he helps out - but... well, I don't know how to explain it, but he's not her dad and I don't rely on him for much of anything.
While I was about 6 months pregnant I realized that I was in this alone - the donor had abandoned us for a 20yr old high-school drop out that doesn't have custody of her 5yr old son. I made a promise to Baby Crazy then that no matter what she would always come first and that I would do everything in my power to keep her from feeling the hurt of only knowing one parent. I promised her that I would fill her world and her life with so much love she wouldn't even realize that it wasn't the "norm" to have only one parent. When she was born - we spent the first night alone in the hospital room and I reaffirmed my promise to her. I held her until they made me let the nurses take her to the nursery for 2 hours so I could get some sleep.
Now - I realize that even after I get married (if and when) it will still be, and always will be, me and her. She means more to me than life itself and I can't imagine some one who is NOT her father loving her the way I do - the way her donor should. Somehow, the significant other will always be just on the other side of my bond with her. She depends on me for everything - and I depend on her for my smiles. A year and 2 months later I'm still sickeningly, cornily in love with my kid and I love every minute of it.
I made the sacrifice to work nights because even though my employer pays me well - I still can't afford day care and afford to feed my kid. I also don't want her in day care until she can talk to me and tell me what's going on. I spend all day with Baby Crazy and then go to work at 6pm and don't get off work until 2:30am the next morning. I have very little contact with the normal people who work during the day and go home at night. Because of that my relationship with the bestie suffered and I made a decision that still hurts a little. She and I are on the mend - but I know that the decision probably stung her a little more than it did me.
I'm sure this post seems random - but I needed to get this stuff out. Back to the regularly scheduled programming now.....
One of Baby Crazy's one year pics - my fav. one.
I realized today that even though I have a boyfriend - I'm a single parent and it's just me and Baby Crazy. Sure he helps out - but... well, I don't know how to explain it, but he's not her dad and I don't rely on him for much of anything.
While I was about 6 months pregnant I realized that I was in this alone - the donor had abandoned us for a 20yr old high-school drop out that doesn't have custody of her 5yr old son. I made a promise to Baby Crazy then that no matter what she would always come first and that I would do everything in my power to keep her from feeling the hurt of only knowing one parent. I promised her that I would fill her world and her life with so much love she wouldn't even realize that it wasn't the "norm" to have only one parent. When she was born - we spent the first night alone in the hospital room and I reaffirmed my promise to her. I held her until they made me let the nurses take her to the nursery for 2 hours so I could get some sleep.
Now - I realize that even after I get married (if and when) it will still be, and always will be, me and her. She means more to me than life itself and I can't imagine some one who is NOT her father loving her the way I do - the way her donor should. Somehow, the significant other will always be just on the other side of my bond with her. She depends on me for everything - and I depend on her for my smiles. A year and 2 months later I'm still sickeningly, cornily in love with my kid and I love every minute of it.
I made the sacrifice to work nights because even though my employer pays me well - I still can't afford day care and afford to feed my kid. I also don't want her in day care until she can talk to me and tell me what's going on. I spend all day with Baby Crazy and then go to work at 6pm and don't get off work until 2:30am the next morning. I have very little contact with the normal people who work during the day and go home at night. Because of that my relationship with the bestie suffered and I made a decision that still hurts a little. She and I are on the mend - but I know that the decision probably stung her a little more than it did me.
I'm sure this post seems random - but I needed to get this stuff out. Back to the regularly scheduled programming now.....
One of Baby Crazy's one year pics - my fav. one.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Va-ca!
I had all these wonderful ideas for posts this weekend while I was ignoring my poor blogs - and now I've lost them. That's what I get for ignoring the poor things.
No clue as to where all the ideas have gone, but maybe they'll come back some day.
So since I can't think of any of them - I'll write about my up-coming va-ca to Alabama.
I'm so frickin excited - I'm going to freeze to death, but hey! Its not Home! Going with the Bestie (we're actually speaking - and she seems to be uber excited). We're going up for a couple days to see some friends (ok, so they're all her friends - as I'm a loser and don't have friends) and camp in an RV spot. There will be much drinking, laughing, eating and general happiness. This is the plan anyway. The 9 hours up is always hard - but, we are NOT using the GPS this time (I don't trust the damn thing. It got us L.O.S.T. on the way up last time - and lost in back woods DARK Alabama is a very, very, scary thing.) We'll use it for general guidance, but we'll be trusting the good old map (read: mapquest.com) and Reggie (one of the persons we're going to visit, who knows the best way to go up.). Wooohooo for va-ca! I will be posting pics - as she and I have nothing better to do than take pictures of EVERYTHING.
Anyway - I'll probably post again later as I'm bored and have nothing to do.
No clue as to where all the ideas have gone, but maybe they'll come back some day.
So since I can't think of any of them - I'll write about my up-coming va-ca to Alabama.
I'm so frickin excited - I'm going to freeze to death, but hey! Its not Home! Going with the Bestie (we're actually speaking - and she seems to be uber excited). We're going up for a couple days to see some friends (ok, so they're all her friends - as I'm a loser and don't have friends) and camp in an RV spot. There will be much drinking, laughing, eating and general happiness. This is the plan anyway. The 9 hours up is always hard - but, we are NOT using the GPS this time (I don't trust the damn thing. It got us L.O.S.T. on the way up last time - and lost in back woods DARK Alabama is a very, very, scary thing.) We'll use it for general guidance, but we'll be trusting the good old map (read: mapquest.com) and Reggie (one of the persons we're going to visit, who knows the best way to go up.). Wooohooo for va-ca! I will be posting pics - as she and I have nothing better to do than take pictures of EVERYTHING.
Anyway - I'll probably post again later as I'm bored and have nothing to do.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
So, I am....
Feeling like I need to write - and not too sure what to write, so I'll be rambling. Thanks for Obliging!
Moving. Took a while to make the decision to do so - and it has alot to do with yesterday's letter to the Bestie. It was hard to make the decision. Now that I have I feel a little better. It also helps that said Bestie is speaking (read: texting) to me now. I think I'd die with out her. Maybe I'll be able to finally get into college.
The Bestie. She's been my back bone forever - really. She's NOT a horrible person - I let things build up in me with out saying anything to her. I shouldn't have let things build up like they did and now my relationship with her is in danger. This is scary - I've known her 11 almost 12 years (half my life people). No idea what I would do with out her and quite frankly, I don't want to find out. She did agree today to still go on our va-ca at the end of the month to possibly repair our fractured friendship (or maybe she's just going to leave me in Alabama, lol). I don't expect miracles - just some semblance of normalcy (which for us would be none, chaos would be more like it). So I'm hopeful for that.
Work. Well - let me just say that while I love my job, its gradually starting to wear on me. I work nights so that my kid doesn't have to attend a nasty, germ-infested daycare. But I think I get maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep a day. Thats it. There is a possiblity that I may move to day shift, but the negotiations are still in progress and I'd need to find some one (NOT a day care, a person) that I trust to watch Baby Crazy.
Blogs. I don't really know who I think I'm kidding - my life is boring, at best. But - the other blog I have is for friends and distant family, so they can keep up with Baby Crazy. This one is for me to vent, ramble (as I'm doing now) and to find some kind of way to express my self (read: talk to myself with out other people looking at me like I'm nuts).
Moving. Took a while to make the decision to do so - and it has alot to do with yesterday's letter to the Bestie. It was hard to make the decision. Now that I have I feel a little better. It also helps that said Bestie is speaking (read: texting) to me now. I think I'd die with out her. Maybe I'll be able to finally get into college.
The Bestie. She's been my back bone forever - really. She's NOT a horrible person - I let things build up in me with out saying anything to her. I shouldn't have let things build up like they did and now my relationship with her is in danger. This is scary - I've known her 11 almost 12 years (half my life people). No idea what I would do with out her and quite frankly, I don't want to find out. She did agree today to still go on our va-ca at the end of the month to possibly repair our fractured friendship (or maybe she's just going to leave me in Alabama, lol). I don't expect miracles - just some semblance of normalcy (which for us would be none, chaos would be more like it). So I'm hopeful for that.
Work. Well - let me just say that while I love my job, its gradually starting to wear on me. I work nights so that my kid doesn't have to attend a nasty, germ-infested daycare. But I think I get maybe 3 or 4 hours of sleep a day. Thats it. There is a possiblity that I may move to day shift, but the negotiations are still in progress and I'd need to find some one (NOT a day care, a person) that I trust to watch Baby Crazy.
Blogs. I don't really know who I think I'm kidding - my life is boring, at best. But - the other blog I have is for friends and distant family, so they can keep up with Baby Crazy. This one is for me to vent, ramble (as I'm doing now) and to find some kind of way to express my self (read: talk to myself with out other people looking at me like I'm nuts).
Monday, January 5, 2009
To You:
Dearest Best Friend....
After today's events I can understand how you would feel like I was "breaking up" with you. But let me say now, that that was NOT my intention. I would never do such a thing. Here's the thing - you and I have a completely different idea on what is and is not necessary. We also have two completely different parenting styles (we're teaching the girls the same thing in two different ways and thus completely and effectively confusing the CRAP out of them. Therefore they act like little NUTS all the time.) I'm a no nonsense parent and you're more of an attachment parent. I dont think children should be rewarded for things they are SUPPOSED to do - you see rewarding them as encouragement.
But - I had to do this for the little one and for my mental well-being. I think that we are supposed to be best friends, but that we're not supposed to live together long term. I love you like a sister. You have been my rock through everything I've been through. My one TRUE friend. I don't want to lose you. I understand that you're upset. I know that you'll need time to digest things - and maybe think about forgiving me.
Maybe one day, you will forgive me and we can go back to being the best of bests.
Love,
Me
After today's events I can understand how you would feel like I was "breaking up" with you. But let me say now, that that was NOT my intention. I would never do such a thing. Here's the thing - you and I have a completely different idea on what is and is not necessary. We also have two completely different parenting styles (we're teaching the girls the same thing in two different ways and thus completely and effectively confusing the CRAP out of them. Therefore they act like little NUTS all the time.) I'm a no nonsense parent and you're more of an attachment parent. I dont think children should be rewarded for things they are SUPPOSED to do - you see rewarding them as encouragement.
But - I had to do this for the little one and for my mental well-being. I think that we are supposed to be best friends, but that we're not supposed to live together long term. I love you like a sister. You have been my rock through everything I've been through. My one TRUE friend. I don't want to lose you. I understand that you're upset. I know that you'll need time to digest things - and maybe think about forgiving me.
Maybe one day, you will forgive me and we can go back to being the best of bests.
Love,
Me
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