Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Guidance???

I'm in a situation that I don't know how to handle - and I need to vent....

So - when I got with my current man - I was CONVINCED that he was my last, my one, my only. But.... I guess I wanted what that represented so badly I made myself believe that there was something there that isn't. I did honestly feel that heart-crushing love for two months and loved every-minute of it. But now I don't feel it. I find it harder every day to find some level to connect with him on. We are two VERY different people. I don't love him the way I should love some one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I don't really know what I should do either. I know he loves me - and I know that breaking up would hurt him badly, but I can't see staying with him and not being happy. I feel repressed.

Intellectually he is not my equal and it makes it really hard to have conversations about anything other than domestic things. That may sound horrible, but it's the truth, and sometimes the truth hurts. I love to read and he thinks its stupid - which is also a problem, reading is where knowledge comes from.

He's great with the baby - but he gets frustrated too easily and if some thing EVER happened to the little person.... well....let's just not go there.

I have love for him, but I'm not in love with him. I could very well see myself being friends with him, but not his wife.

I don't know what to do - I don't want to hurt him, but I don't want to be unhappy.....

No comments: